November 20, 2009
Economy ‘not our fault’ say banks
An association of world banks announced today that not only is the economy recovering well but the recent economic turmoil was not their fault at all.
A statement from the banks pointed out that banks are full of money, rich people are buying clothing at Sak’s and sports cars are hot sellers.
When questioned about the rising number of jobless, Stephen Jones, a bank representative reassured the public that they would get jobs soon. “If not this year then soon. With all these new sports cars and Sak’s dresses we’ll need someone to keep them clean!” he quipped.
More significantly the banks stressed that they were not the cause of the economic downturn in the first place. Their statement pointed out that it was a credit crisis not a deposit crisis.
“This means that people couldn’t *borrow* money. Banks had lots of money. And if you had money you could continue to deposit it. It was only grifters and leeches who were demanding too much credit. And like all sycophants, eventually their own selfishness brought doom down upon them. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out most of the jobless were people who at some time wanted credit,” explained Jones.
Banks say they’re not against trying to help the world out of the recession, and have decided to work hard to make even more money.
“The more money we make the more money there is in the world,” said Jones. “And isn’t a better economy defined by more money? There. We win.”