August 12, 2010
Secret government gridlocked over economy
REYKJAVIK – The secret world government closed another plenary session without a resolution over what to do with the world economy. Officials would not comment as they can’t acknowledge that a secret world government exists int he first place.
Hans Al-Jaha, who has no knowledge of any kind of secret world government told reporters, “If in theory there was a secret world government who had planned a recession and now could not resolve the best way to transition out of it, then I would guess, although this is pure speculation, that we would see more mixed economic indicators for quite awhile. But the notion of a secret world government is preposterous.”
Al-Jaha was then whisked away in an unmarked black sedan that transformed into a helicopter shortly thereafter.
Sources familiar with the debate deny that any debate exists but speculate that if in some hypothetical universe it did, the conflict would be over whether recovery would be staggered or even.
“One group would advocate an even recovery to smooth out some of the economic inequities that had been exacerbated by the previous boom,” said one delegate who refused to acknowledge that he was talking to us or even that he existed at all. “The other group believes the best way to balance the economy is to allow China, Brazil, and other previously difficult economies, to lead the way out. That group had been winning the debate until the last few months. Of course this is all hogwash and you’re imagining me anyway.”
The delegate then disappeared into an alley and could not be found.
The next round of secret government talks won’t take place in Jakarta, Indonesia, and definitely not begin on August 18 as there is no such thing as a secret world government.