August 16, 2005
World Praises Heroic Failure
(WASHINGTON) – After the Iraqi Parliament gave themselves another week to write a constitution, US leaders were quick to hail the heroic procrastination.
Following in the footsteps of a search for weapons that didn’t exist and declaring the war over while the fighting continues on years later, the US administration hailed the failure to approve a constitution on time as “heroic.”
For Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice it’s a matter of faith.
“I believe they’re going to finish this and I’ve heard expressions from the Iraqis that they believe that they’re going to finish it,” she said.
Logicians worldwide hailed this latest measure of praise for failure as emblematic of the US Government’s ability to blaze trails of logic where truth has never strayed.
“It would be one thing to say encouraging words to the Iraqis as they attempt this difficult, almost impossible task of rebuilding their state as a democracy, but to hail it as heroic. That’s the mark of the frontier-building this administration has done in the field of strained logic,” said Subbrilliant University’s chief logician.