November 18, 2005
Woman gets younger to win argument
(SORENTO, IL) – 45 year-old Dana Mueller used to be 47. Doctors at Greenville Regional Hospital confirmed that Mrs. Mueller is in fact getting younger.
“It’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen in my 53 years of treating scrapes, sprains, and sore throats,” said General Practicioner Dr. Gerald Daisy. “But there’s no doubt about the results. Mrs. Mueller is younger than the last time I examined her.”
Mueller refused to give interviews but reports indicate she began getting younger out of spite.
“We had an argument. I don’t remember what about,” said her husand, Jack Mueller. “You know how these things go. I told her she wasn’t getting any younger and she said, Oh yeah!”
A week after the argument Mrs. Mueller, still steamed, stormed off to the hospital shouting “I’m going to prove you wrong… again.. Jack!”
It took two days for test results to be confirmed. Doctors from Washington University in St. Louis have requested the test results for review.
“If we can figure out how to replicate this, we may be prescribing spite and bitter acrimony to older people as a curative,” said Dean of Medicine at Washington University Charlie Spoetzel.